Mistango Choir Festival

No matter how prepared I am, I still get nervous

  • [this is a version of a post which first appeared on my blog From the Front of the Choir]

     

    I reckon I’m a fairly experienced teacher and workshop leader. I’ve been teaching in one form or another for almost 35 years.

     

     

    Photo by nickb_rock

     

    But I still have sleepless nights before a workshop!

     

    I have taught professionally since 1978 (computer science to undergraduates). I started running theatre workshops in 1984 and since 1997 I’ve been leading choirs and teaching singing workshops.

     

    Like all good teachers I spend a major part of my time preparing workshop and rehearsal sessions, sourcing material, learning songs, etc. I try to make sure that I am as prepared as I possibly can be, but I also know that I can improvise when necessary.

     

    So I go into a workshop feeling pretty confident and reasonably sure I know what I’m doing. How then to account for the lack of sleep the night before and the anxiety dreams?

     

    A few years back I ran a singing workshop in London for just an hour on a Wednesday evening at 6pm.

     

    It was about a 1 ¼ hour train journey from where I lived, plus maybe half an hour on the underground. I left in plenty of time in case there were any rail problems (in the end I arrived over 1 ½ hours early!). There was no early morning start needed as I didn’t have to be at the train station until 3pm.

     

    And yet the night before I had a very restless night, tossing and turning, waking up every now and then to check the clock.

     

    I also had an anxiety dream:

     

    I had arrived at the venue in plenty of time, so decided to go and have a coffee.

    I was feeling extremely relaxed and laid-back and was enjoying just chilling and drinking coffee.

    I glanced at my watch to find it was 6.20pm – the workshop was supposed to start at 6pm!

    I rushed to the workshop room and found it empty except for one

    young man sitting at a desk doing his homework.

    Then I saw the organiser and apologised for being late.

    He said not to worry as there were two long queues of people waiting outside to come in!

     

    On the surface I had no anxieties about the workshop at all, and yet deep-down I was clearly worried that I would not arrive on time and that nobody would turn up.

     

    I met a colleague after the workshop and she mentioned that she too gets hardly any sleep before a workshop, even though she is very experienced and always well-prepared.

     

    That means that many of us may be running our workshops on just a few hours sleep. Imagine how much better we might be if we got a good night’s sleep beforehand!

     

    Despite the lack of sleep, I really wouldn’t have it any other way.

     

    Being somewhat anxious before a workshop (or rehearsal or gig) means that we care about it and are keen to get it right. Much better that than being complacent and thinking it will be a breeze.

     

    I truly believe that it’s the sign of a good teacher to remain worried about doing a good job, even though you may have done it many times before. The day I stop being nervous just before a concert or workshop is the day I should give up the job!

     

     

    Chris Rowbury: chrisrowbury.com

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