Perfect presents for choral singers

• Posted by Chris Rowbury December 23, 2020 - Filed in Choir Post - 514 views

  [A version of this article first appeared as a post on my blog From the Front of the Choir]
  
  It’s that time of year again when you still have time to to pop to the local garage for last-minute presents.

  
  

  
  What on earth can you get for the choral singers in your life? Here are some super ideas for ideal presents.
  
  Pretty much every magazine gets in on the act for the festive season with ideas for presents for garden lovers, those who play sports, grannies, book fiends and so on, but somehow they always seem to miss out choral singers.
  
  
  Well, I’m here to redress the balance. Here are 10 amazingly wonderful ideas for gifts for choral singers. Get ’em while you can, I’m sure there’ll be a rush!
  
  

   

  1. an alarm clock – to make sure they get to rehearsals on time (and to come in at the right time when they’re singing).
  2. a cloak of invisibility – so they don’t get singled out by the choir leader and so they can avoid the warm up without their absence being noted.
  3. a stand-in – to attend rehearsals in their place when they’re feeling a bit tired or under the weather (or just not inclined). The stand-in will not be required at concerts as that’s where our choral singers soak up the limelight.
  4. a single ear plug – which works in either ear to block out all the unsolicited advice from other singers in their section.
  5. a heads-up display unit – to project song lyrics in front of them without anybody else noticing.
  6. a spikey jacket – covered in very sharp points to stop other choir members from encroaching on their personal space. Especially useful in concerts in small venues.
  7. a Taser stun gun – to zap anyone who’s talking while they’re trying to learn their part. Or a death ray, whichever’s cheaper.
  8. platform shoes – so they can see the conductor over the heads of the tall people who always insist on standing in the front row.
  9. a fake, stick-on smile – because it’s hard to smile and sing at the same time but the choir leader keeps insisting. Always. Even for the sad songs.
  10. a magic folder – to keep music and lyrics in. It automatically updates to the latest version and replaces lost or damaged sheets. Can be found easily simply by whistling.

  
  I hope they do the trick (they’ll work for birthdays too). Merry Christmas!

   

   

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  Chris Rowbury

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